Parenting is a difficult job, and it can be hard to remember that children learn a lot about life simply by watching how their parents handle difficult situations. When you lose your temper in front of your children, they can sense the strength of your emotion and will be watching carefully to see how you handle it. Rather than scolding yourself for getting angry to begin with, you can use the experience to help your children grow and develop.
If you lose your cool in front of your children, turn it into a learning experience for them. Once you have cooled down and they are no longer worried that they might be on the receiving end of your anger, talk about what happened. Narrate the situation by describing the incident that caused you to lose your temper and how you reacted to it. You can help your children relax and feel at ease by apologizing for your outburst, and then you can tell them that you have let go of your anger. They will help them learn more about how to cope with the anger that they experience and how to recover from it.
It is very important that you show yourself some compassion after an angry outburst. You are not perfect, and anger is a natural human emotion. If you get mad at yourself for letting your anger get out of control, then all you are doing is making the problem worse. Rather than reacting to the situation with more anger, admit that you are human and move on. Forgive and forget, just as you would do for a loved one.
While it seems like a basic concept, it is often difficult for parents to minimize the amount of stress that they experience every day. They quickly become overloaded and tense, and they finally snap when something happens at home. Take some time to analyze your life, your home and your daily habits to see if there are places where you can minimize stress. You might reduce the number of activities that your family is involved in, or you can lower your expectations for how clean the house should be. When you eliminate some of the little things that cause you stress, you will be less likely to have an angry outburst in front of your children.
The next time your children see you lose your temper, take a minute to breathe, relax and put it behind you. The strategies that you use to recover from your anger will help your children learn how to cope with their emotions as they get older.
Tags: anger management