Many couples find that their relationship changes once they have children. They struggle with feeling as though they are no longer important or valued, and they may feel as though the relationship has been pushed aside by the day-to-day struggles of raising children. If you and your partner are feeling as though you are drifting apart now that you have kids, try these tips to help you reconnect with each other.
Be Courteous and Respectful
It is easy to fall into the habit of snapping or speaking rudely to one another after a stressful day, but this can cause tension in the home that will drive the two of you further apart. Focus on speaking kindly to one another, especially when you are feeling frustrated or angry. You should also talk to each other about how things are going in your life and how you feel the relationship is doing. Try to sit down to have these conversations at least once a week so that you each have a better idea of how the other is feeling.
Make a Date
It is very important that you schedule time for the two of you to spend time together so that you can build and maintain memories as a couple. While it is fun and beneficial to have family outings, you also need to have events that only the two of you do together. This will help you strengthen your bond with each other while giving you something to look forward to the next time you are waiting for a little retreat.
Intimacy plays a crucial role in the strength of your relationship, but it is much more than just showing physical affection. Intimacy also involves opening up and talking about things that make you a little uncomfortable. You shouldnâ€™t feel as though you have to unleash all of your secrets as you speak with your partner, but you do need to spend time talking about things other than your kids and work.
If you feel as though you and your partner have drifted apart since you had children, you should try to repair the relationship before the strain causes permanent damage. If you still seem to have trouble reconnecting, you may want to consider going to a counselor together.